Houston We Have A Problem!

I had a rough day yesterday so when I got home I was looking forward to unwinding by exterminating creatures throughout the Outland with extreme prejudice. Much to my chagrin we had a cable outage and everything was down. I rebooted the DVR's and the modem but this didn't work and after speaking with two reps at the cable company it was discovered that there were outages in several different areas including mine. What was I to do? The tragic loss of my Internet service was almost too much to bear. As I lied in bed my body began to twitch and convulse and I broke out in a cold sweat as my body began to display the first signs of WoW withdrawal. I tried to sooth the withdrawal symptoms with beverages and pizza but in the end this only made things worse. I was down for the count, no doubt about it. I had no idea how long the outage would last so I asked my wife to knock me out so I wouldn't have to endure the pain any longer. I was expecting drugs but alas Nurse Ratched threw down the Gauntlet and gave me a big dose of ass-whooping. She packs quite a wallop too. When I awoke this morning with a raging headache and one eye swollen shut I received a phone call from the cable company and they informed me that service had been restored. Whew, what a relief. I shouted for joy and spit out a few teeth in the process. I can't imagine suffering through another night of no cable or Internet service much less a whole weekend. If that were to happen the big muscular men in white suits would be coming for me. Can you say rubber room? Hey as long as the room has cable and high-speed Internet service I'm good to go.